A fake newscast where spectacle trumps substance, and a well-placed spin cycle keeps the world smelling fresh.
The Fakist Headlines was a spinoff podcast produced in 2019 where Paul DaFoe reported on real news for some reason. After a short run, we decided to wait until Season 3 to squeeze the last drops out of this concept. Still, we produced a lot of fun stuff. Enjoy!
Look for The Fakist Season 3, coming soon!
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CAST
The Dark Pee-Wee Returns!
We’re back, here with all THE FAKIST HEADLINES you can shake a stick at. Pee-Wee is back, but with a modern twist. The concussion controversy causes a fury of football fans to lash out! Target is setting trends as the world ends. All that, plus Ziggy McElroy is back with a self-serving editorial.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
“‘Ziggy’s Editorial”
Written By Shawn Trail
ZIGGY MCELROY – Shawn Trail
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How Is It Thanksgiving Next Week?
Paul DaFoe offers up his TOP 10 THANKSGIVING TIPS to help you get through the holiday season without killing your family. All that, plus Grace Huberstafforford reports on a holiday toy trend, on a thankful episode of THE FAKIST HEADLINES.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
“‘Could Be Anything’ Inspirational Action Figures”
Written by Wynn Mercere
GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere
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Nicholas Cage Is Benjamin Franklin
A new Baby Shark study says exactly what you’d expect, a member of The Fakist team goes on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN TWERK?, and an explanation of YouTube’s new terms of service that we’ve all got a million e-mails about. All that, plus the Dems invade Indiana, on a brand new THE FAKIST HEADLINES.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
“So You Think You Can Twerk?”
Written By Shawn Trail
ZIGGY MCELROY – Shawn Trail
TIM “PRESS PLAY” PLAYGON – Shawn Trail
CHYRON DELROY – Dorkface Delroy
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A MacDonald’s-Friendly Episode
Fortnight is basically cocaine, Tarintino attacks Netflix, and lots of butt-kissing MacDonald’s. All that, plus Grace Huberstafforford vapes, on a brand new THE FAKIST HEADLINES.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
“Healthy Vapes”
Written by Wynn Mercere
GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere
“Fortnight Is Cocaine”
Written By Shawn Trail
ZIGGY MCELROY – Shawn Trail
QUENTIN TARANTINO – Bill Meeks
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We’re Totally Ducked.
Can the Fakist News Team defeat multilevel marketer Debra Dawnstar and her Shooting Star army? What about Grimm Ace from MacDonald’s? Who will stand with Paul DaFoe in his darkest hour yet? Find out in OPERATION: DEVASTATION PART TWO, the epic finale to Season 2 of The Fakist.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
CAST
BATMAN ANNOUNCER – Peter Price
ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas
DEBRA DAWNSTAR – Anne Marie
SHOOTING STAR 1 – Allison Jara
PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks
LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson
SHOOTING STAR 2 – Bill Meeks
RENT-A-KIDS – Dinah, Doofy, and Dorkface Delroy
AI BOT – Peter Price
GRACE HUBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere
BYRON SEALES – Tony Hooper
BRENT ARNOLD – Charles Johnson
ERNIE MCFERNIE – Tom Merritt
GRIMM ACE – Peter Price
JOHNNY MACDONALD’S – Scott Johnson
ELLA FITZPATRICK – Anne Marie
JANITOR JIM – Bobby Hawke
BERTRAM KCOM – Adam Paulauski
GLENN KARAOKE – Bobby Hawke
“Nobody Knows It But Me”
Parody lyrics written and performed by Classic Tragic Hero
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You Can’t Outrun Your Past… Not Really.
Everything Paul DaFoe has ever done wrong is coming back to bite him, and the fate of The Fakist is at stake! Will Paul survive the tornado of karma battering the beams of KCOM Studios? Find out in the first part of this EPIC two-part finale. OPERATION: DEVASTATION starts now, only on The Fakist.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
CAST
PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks
LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson
BYRON SEALES – Tony Hooper
ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas
TIM “PRESS PLAY” PLAYGON – Shawn Trail
AI BOT – Peter Price
TAYLOR REYNOLDS – Michael Lucero
JACOB WALTERS – Brady Hendricks
ASHLEY WALLABY – Anne Marie
ABIGAIL WALLABY – Morgan Glennon
JENNY NEIGHBORHOOD – Allison Jara
GRILL CREW MEMBER #1 – John Harrison
GRILL CREW MEMBER #2 – Derek O’Neill
WACKY PACKY – Michael Lucero
ELLA FITZPATRICK – Anne Marie
DEBRA DAWNSTAR – Anne Marie
BRYSTER – Dorkface Delroy
JANITOR JIM – Bobby Hawke
SHOOTING STAR 1 – Allison Jara
SHOOTING STAR 2 – Bill Meeks
JANIE – Anne Marie
JACK – Bill Meeks
TIM MONET – Peter Price
RON JOLIVER – John Harrison
GRACE HUBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere
BATMAN ANNOUNCER – Peter Price
Wizards Untied, written by Megan Prevost
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Well, That Happened.
Politics invades the fake news, Disney enters the multiverse of madness, and a gaming granny gets SWATed. All that, plus Ziggy McElroy on a brand new FAKIST NEWS HEADLINES.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
“Gaming Granny”
Written by Wynn Mercere
GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere
“Sticky Lips” and “Self-Driving Snobs”
Written By Shawn Trail
ZIGGY MCELROY – Shawn Trail
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It’s a newscast full of Fakist firsts!
After a lot of delays, Paul DaFoe is finally ready to confront Janitor Jim, but that’s not the only first on tonight’s newscast! Brent Arnold explores the new teen trend threatening to destroy the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Then, bar patrons make first time confessions on Tim Monet’s First Times. Plus, what Nickelodeon start is getting swept up in the college bribery scandal? All that, plus an update on the #RedCloud that shut down the city and an epic ending that leads straight into the two-part finale, coming up on The Fakist!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
CAST
PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks
BRENT ARNOLD – Charles Johnson
LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson
ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas
CHRIS HOSTWICK – Brady Hendricks
ANGELICA GOODY – Rachel Boat
THANOS – Michael Lucero
MARVEL FAN 1 – Kate Sheridan
MARVEL FAN 2 – Michael Lucero
SEX DEEP VOICE – Shawn Trail
TIM MONET – Peter Price
MILLENIAL MIKE – Nathan Parnes
MELVIN – CJ Boat
ROD JOHNSON – Andy Behbakht
ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS – Peter Price
BRENDA – Anne Marie
RENT-A-KID ANNOUNCER – Shawn Trail
DEBRA DAWNSTAR – Anne Marie
AI BOT – Peter Price
ELLA FITZPATRICK – Anne Marie
HANDLEBAR VAN DYKE – Bobby Hawke
ANONYMOUS CALLER – Joel VanValkenburg-Huff
JANITOR JIM – Bobby Hawke
GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere
KID ANNOUNCER – Dinah Delroy
KID 1 – Dorkface Delroy
KID 2 – Doofy Delroy
ANNETTE GAINES/YOUNG ANNETTE GAINES – Amy Hypnarowski
TOM GAINES – Michael Lucero
TMZ ANNOUNCER – Jamey Lewis
DEVON – Samuel Lewis
BATMAN ANNOUNCER – Peter Price
GRIMM ACE – Peter Price
ERNIE MCFERNIE – Tom Merritt
JENNY NEIGHBORHOOD – Allison Jara
Rent-A-Kid: Apocalypse, written by Dorkface Delroy
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MUSIC